brrrrrr

we haven't had the chance to play in the snow this winter, so when i looked out the window at this unexpected wonderland i had visions of snow angels and sledding. it took 20 minutes to put on the long underwear, snowsuit, and boots. it took 3 minutes to decide he didn't like the cold wet snow. go figure

she jumped right in

when i was 4 there were things about me that i'm told were rather, amusing. i never wore shoes-never, i would walk through the doors of neighbors without so much as a knock, i practiced ballet in the bed of my dads pickup truck; because it felt like a stage, i loved dancing in the rain, and i often wore my slip outside thinking i was a beautiful princess. my poor mother.

i came home from this shoot energized. the rain fell, the puddles gathered, and the princess danced. i wonder when we got so self aware that we stopped playing so innocently. when did we turn into naysayers that worry about our hair getting wet or looking foolish for splashing? when did we stop dancing in the rain?

i encouraged bailey to do the things i secretly wanted to, because before long she might start to worry about the store keepers and passers by and forget how laughter comes so easily with the simple things. when we got in the car she whispered, "i love you", as innocent as that. i love you too bailey, happy birthday.

Un gateau, un drapeau, un bateau.... toot toot

what do cake, flags, and boats, have to do with each other? i'm really not sure but the fact she said it everyday with this silly smile on her face made high school French a little easier to take. in those days she was simply known as Madame.

you know how when you're in school it's hard to imagine your teachers as human? like if you see them at the grocery store it seems completely unnatural that they should need milk and eggs. after all don't they live in that classroom, and isn't verb conjugation the only thing that occupies their thoughts?

it is now several years removed and a lot more is on her mind, and i see this woman as everything i didn't see before. it's beautiful to watch her embrace her family in a time of uncertainty and a war for health. beyond human strength. i get to capture her light laughter and wide smile that has graced this family for 38 years. from behind the camera i see a family that walks through whatever happens, together.

sometimes the little things are pretty big

walking through a tiny jewelry store she pointed and said, "aren't those earrings pretty"? he shrugged and said "sure", walking toward the door. in her mind she was reminded of her wedding day and the earrings he gave her, how she wore them daily until one was lost.

while she sat reading he excused himself for a walk on the beach. he caught a cab instead, and found that tiny jewelry store. 4 miles away she still sat unassuming. with traffic at a stand still he ran all the way back, in flip flops, so she wouldn't be suspicious. the blisters that started to form were a reminder of what they walked through together in their marriage. remembering how he could be unloving and she could be less than respectful. knowing the journey was worth it all along.

on the last night he wanted to see the ocean one more time. as they looked toward the water he held her hand, and asked "will you remember this forever?" she nodded. with a simple smile he slipped something in her hand, hoping this would remind her of their week in paradise. the earrings she thought he didn't see.

when i think of my husband a lot of things come to mind. hard worker, brilliant, strong, humble, simple, generous. i respect him more than anyone on this earth and although i look to fill gaps in my heart from other places he is still the one that puts it all in place. he longs to see me look at him like he's everything to me, if he could only see me when he wasn't looking.

meredith gutshall? ; here

a week in the sunshine can do a lot for a person, me in particular. there's something about walking along the beach early in the morning that gives me fresh perspective. maybe it was the way the sun would rise and warm my back as i walked, maybe it was my morning visits with the man with the metal detector, or maybe it was just the quiet waves making their way in for the day; whatever it was reminded me to be present. it's a funny thing to ponder, being present in your own life. but how many times do we drive down the interstate, put together peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, make conference calls, or walk through the grocery store with something else in mind. a longing for something that's not what we are doing at that moment. so maybe it takes a week in maui to see that what i have at home needs my utmost attention, that it's important, all of it.

today in yoga class my teacher had 5 words tension, needs attention, to give action which brings balance that gives us well-being. i thought it coupled with my thought and wanted to share it. if we are not completely there how can we recognize this tension to bring us to well-being?

my life is worth being present, how about yours?