straight and strong

i can remember like it was yesterday. we were so excited to have our ultrasound and see this new little life that i was growing. our mothers came and we stood in a tiny room staring at the screen. they pointed out the heart, ears, toes, hands, and feet. tiny feet. our mothers left and we sat waiting to talk to our doctor, we waited, and then waited some more. i knew something was wrong.

19 weeks is when club foot usually shows up, and no one really knows why. sometimes it is attached to other issues, or syndromes, sometimes it's not. doctors warned of downs syndrome, spina bifida, cystic fibrosis and on and on, each appointment was a list of potentials. so for 21 weeks we waited, and prayed. i grew to understand love without a condition attached, i grew to understand my mothers love for me.

his feet were not beautiful, and could not be craddled in my hands like the images you see on hallmark cards, they were twisted and turned and would soon spend months bound to heavy casts. my 4 day old baby boy was introduced to physical pain long before i was ready for him to endure it. and i battled for the first time wanting to take from my child what he had to bare himself. they told me he may not jump, he may not run, and my heart broke for his unknown.

by grace, we found dr. ponseti the undisputed best club foot doctor in the world, in his 90s to top it off. he and his team became like family in Iowa City. we walk in the door and are greeted by name, with hugs, toys, and stories. each visit introduces us to new doctors coming to learn the Ponsetti method. researchers from Thailand, Mexico, Brazil, Italy, India and beyond all lean in close to hear his quiet voice speak to me in his faded Spanish accent. deacon believes that doctor ponseti is the boss of his feet, and agrees to wear his brace because that is what he says is right.

now doctor ponseti comes in rarely to see his babies, but this one now runs, and jumps, and plays.